Fear

Have you ever had a dream that just kind of shakes you to your core. Like a type of nightmare that's so real you can wake up and then fall right back into the dream. I haven't had too many of these scares, but they're always somewhat similar.

I've surmised that one of my greatest fears is someone breaking into my house. When I still lived with my parents I used to dream of people breaking into the house and not knowing what to do. Eventually I started keeping my cell phone in my room at night and the nightmares stopped. However last night for no apparent reason I had a relapse and it was far worse than in the past.

Before I went to bed I took the garbage out, and usually I don't lock my apartment door because I only have to take it to the back parking lot. In my dream I did the same thing. However this time there were police in back and a few of my neighbors. I overheard them saying that some girls were killed. I knew I had left the door open and I ran back to my apartment fearing for my roommate (who is out of the country in real life) and when I got into the apartment there was blood on the walls, and she was dead in the bathtub.

Funny thing is that it wasn't my actual roommate, it was Jen from Big Brother 8 (which if you watch the show isn't a tragedy), but I was convinced she was my roommate and I didn't realize until I had woken up who she was. There was a message written on the dry erase board that's on my door; it said: 'Sorry I missed you -Cole' I was in a panic. Like when you can't breath and your chest feels tight. It was quite frightening. I'm not sure why, but after everything was cleaned up by the police I didn't go home, and they hadn't caught the guy yet.

I woke up briefly and fell right back into the dream. It seemed that some time had gone by and I was watching TV in my living room and I got a text message from Cole, something about killing me, and how he knew what I was watching. That's when I woke up for real, and got up for the day. But I couldn't shake the feeling, and I was afraid to open the door to go to the bathroom. It's a terrible feeling to think that you're not safe in your house, and to know that you're alone. My roommate isn't here, so nobody would be around to help me.

I know this is kind of a dark entry, but I felt like I couldn't get it out of my head until I wrote it somewhere. I wish there were more locks in my house.